Leslie Dulfo
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Trigger Warning
This article talks about Suicide Prevention and Awareness and the will to thrive and hold on to dear life.
Should you need help on mental health, you can reach the Baguio City Health Services Office Mental Health and Wellness Unit at 0919-069-6361, Department of Health CAR – Mental Health Unit at 0938-757-6458 and the Baguio General Hospital Psychiatry Unit at (074) 442-2365.
The mental health community always talks about circumstances of inflicting self physical pain and sometimes, even death. From vivid descriptions to generalizations, this is a common topic for mental health warriors. I wonder if telling about such topics helps one express their feelings to a receiver.
However, given the circumstances of the receiver, he/ she may not be ready for a topic that is taboo in fact and in truth. I am a mental health warrior and as a nonprofit volunteer, I tried responding to call for help online. It’s different, it’s draining and affecting too. So what do I do? I connect them to trained professionals in my networks.
Even with experiences of mental health issues and thinking of going up to the 5th floor of Baguio General Hospital during an episode, I can say I cannot do everything. Even superman or wonder woman, is not enough to hear a plea with your shouts and all. It is too triggering and it has the capacity of passing the negativity brought by unhappy thoughts.
I remember that Baguio General Hospital has two qualifications for admission for the Psychiatric Ward. One, if a person is violent and inflicts harm to self or others and if that person has suicidal tendencies. I used to say that thinking about suicide is a passive suicide while overt acts is active suicide. I don’t know if it’s the same thing that’s being talked about now.
I have been part of the mental health community since 2018 after I decided to go freelance as a writer and volunteer advocate. I took a chance to share my experiences after being in a few government contracts that didn’t believe that mental issues exist. Trying to hide my disability for fear that it may be used against me. Sometimes, some people used that fact against me too because I did confide in them. It’s a sad fact that happens with people having mental issues.
From then on, I realized that if I work with others to find hope then maybe we would never feel alone. Although, I don’t recommend people making the same choices I made. Sometimes, especially in the Philippines, choosing mental health is a privilege not often given to many.
Sometimes when we go through things, we realize that maybe we are not enough and there’s no way out! Remember, for always and everyday, especially this Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, we have a choice – to be alive too!
If there’s one thing I learned through my experiences is — don’t lose hope! You are not alone no matter how your mind thinks so. You’ve got me! You’ve got us – many times!