Reason for Being

Trigger warning: This column mentions talks about mental health, mental illness, trauma, psychoses and suicide. If you find yourself triggered, reach out to a mental health professional or call 911 emergency hotline. Reader discretion is advised.

Today, I’m adding another year to my life. Such a coincidence that my birthday falls on the same day on a Thursday, pretty much like when I was born years ago. Is it really a coincidence or is it by some divine reason that things happen for the right reasons and seasons?

Pretty much like when they say that at most 1% diagnosed with Schizophrenia or someone diagnosed maybe of some form of psychosis is able to be functional again. I guess, I am proud to be that meager part of 1%. I used to ask many times why it was me who was diagnosed with this condition, but now I realize you have to go through things to find yourself. I am glad to have found myself.

Is resilience such a word that people with a mental health condition like me are trying to prove that the “I” is equal to resilience? Resilience is only a word, unless you go through hallucinations, violence, self-harm or even trigger warning: suicide!

Just last week a young man hanged himself on a tree. I can’t imagine how utterly sad it is for everyone left behind and for people in the community to see such mishap. Aren’t we empathetic enough to have reached out to him?

In the same way, a man fell off from a hotel building for reasons we do not know of. Everyone was watching and videoing without thinking of helping. A disoriented e-bus driver hit an old woman who died. And oh, it was a sure hit! Are we in such a cruel world now?

A lot of times in my bad days, I end up crying and trying to discern reality from delusions and psychoses. It was a hard battle that is in itself hard to combat. Like a soldier on guard, you have to watch out for yourself. Why? It is because you alone are responsible for your own life.

People are merely there to support you – family, friends, partner or loved ones, but you owe it to yourself to be aware of your diagnosis or diagnoses for your own good. You need to do self care and set your own metes and bounds.You have to think of yourself – to heal before you reach out to help others.

Your life is a wonderful surprise from the start. You’re a wonderful present not only in this present time. You are awe, wonder, sugar, spice, bittersweet and everything in-between. You are stars, moon and the universe – a product of sound waves and light years away more than 3I/Atlas. Who knows what tomorrow brings but you sure have a reason for being!

May you find gratitude in your heart and be content as much as you can! Now, go on living and while you’re at it, live life to the fullest!