Ideally, a parents’ love

It is common knowledge around groups that people with mental struggles are known to not have supportive families or maybe parents who don’t believe in the importance of mental health. Parents are often triggers to children. Why? It is because good parenting wasn’t taught in schools and other avenues. Parenting styles are realized through experience and dependent on a case to case basis.

Our parents, although they did not know early in their era, that they faced early parenthood way before they matured or way before they have outgrown their mental health woes. They are products of societal trauma perhaps and some experiences that broke them. Their generation was the focus of resilience – the kind of pushing things aside for avoidance. Truly, few were able to realize the need for mental health and the gift of uniqueness due to a disability.

However, now, some parents have been very cooperative and participative in training, workshops and learning platforms for good parenting especially caregivers of mental health warriors and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Nearly, some children with Autism Spectrum Disorder do go through social challenges holistically affecting their health. Their inability to communicate properly and fully get them to be bullied in schools or places where social interaction is a must.

Bullying is not a joke. It is a parental control, I think that needs to be practiced. It is not only discipline for the child but discipline and restraint for the parent. There are cases of bullying even in schools now and it’s not okay as parents to not do something about it. That is – whether you agree or not!

It is like a remote control turning on and off a television based on whether it is good for the child or not. It is also avoiding shows that have gore, sex, violence and negativities being shown to a child. It is also reminding your children to take care of themselves and their bodies and be wary of strangers online and up close and personal.

A parent’s love should be accepting of a child’s uniqueness and extraordinary traits. Good parenting styles later on give children their own role models of how to be parents themselves in the future. The family being the most influential factor affecting mental health and overall wellness.

If parents can’t give the needed support, a child is forced to rely on friends who in turn might be there as friends for the wrong reasons. Friends who might teach a child at an early age to steal, scam or harm oneself or others. Friends who might have the child dismiss their feelings and emotions and shy away from the realities of life.

The Philippine Mental Health Association (PMHA) has this pilot project for giving mental health awareness workshops to support caregivers in their quest to help their children. It is a known program which was suggested way back to give carers a chance to learn and decipher a loved one having mental health issues. After all, the family is the strongest foundation of things even in mental health and overall health.

So what is the lesson in all of these? That parents realize that mental health exists and it’s not just “papansin” or “kaartehan”.

I hope that as family members – tita, tito, lolo, lola, nanay and tatay, kapatid – sisters or brothers that we accept that the world is dynamically changing. That change is cool and openness is key to good parenting. Only then, will our children face a better future.

Hugs to every parent who has been trying despite the struggles, may the force be with you! May the spirit keep you and your children — both whole!