Warm or Cold

In a cold rainy day like this, we reach out for a warm hug or hot coffee or tea. When it’s hot, we look for some sodas or cold or iced milk tea. We have to combat cold with the warm and the warm with the cold.

Going in the provinces which often called by us Cordillerans as, “sa baba” whether be it in Manila or La Union. Despite the geographical areas, we perceive every province or city as “sa baba”. Being born, raised and living in Baguio City, it has been all that “sa taas” tayo. “Sa baba” perhaps mean hot plains, “sa taas” mean cold mountains.

Did you know that the rain and cold may cause some people into a depressive state? Even places that are not visited by the sun may bring mood disorders. It may be a varying two opposite extreme poles – manic or depressive. In a sense, the mood disorders dwindling like a pendulum is called bipolar. Bipolar may be accompanied by other diagnoses or even mood disorders. Having bipolar is like the unpredictable weather – being cold then warm then cold then warm. The swings would last for 3 or more manic days then you may feel down and tired after the three days. Lack of sleep may even happen.

Why am I saying this? Am I a doctor or nurse? No, I am a person with lived experiences of a mental illness. What I say is usually based on experiences. I always believed that knowing myself and my illness is a responsibility I have to take for my own sake and may be for others the same as me. Mind you, I don’t diagnose because a psychiatrist has to do that. But experiences has taught me to stay warm when cold and cold when warm. Why? It is because it’s the ultimate survival coping skill. I have learned to cope.

I’ve been asked many times, “how did I cope?” I say I tried to read and get a hold of myself. Getting a hold of myself, is believing what is good for me and letting go what harms me. For you cannot believe everything you know for it may make you crying cold. Fact checking and reality check even when you’re at the verge of the pendulum swing, is possible or okay, maybe not. Sometimes, you just have to try to condition your mind despite the warmth and/ or coldness. Sometimes trying and doing is the same thing. Do what works for your own good.

If you need help, especially when you feel warm or cold crying and with mixed emotions. Dial in 911 for Baguio residents, because your hormones, physical makeup, genetics or moods might be too warm or too cold for you. Ask help if you must. We are just here for you when you reach out. After all, you are not alone.

As always, the warm and cold may swing me but it will in a way, ground me with empathy. I feel you and together let’s normalize these conversations.